i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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