He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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