In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
