When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
