I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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