Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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