Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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