my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
