She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
