I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
