they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
