I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
