but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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