i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
