Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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