New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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