So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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