Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
