What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
