Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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