btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
worst night to have a conscience
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
