apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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