wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
