At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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