NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
