So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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