So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
only if we run a train.
done.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
this hospital has no fireball
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
