Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize