i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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