My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
