she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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