someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
