I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
and she was petting her beer can
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
