How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
