Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
