I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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