Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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