loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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