boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
