Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
