my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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