I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
