I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
