trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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