Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
