I want to stick my p in your. b.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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