is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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