and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My dick has a subreddit
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
