This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
