She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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