and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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