Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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