I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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