Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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