1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
