This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
