i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
