giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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