so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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