btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
